My mission through this site is to assist others in their own journey to “Clarity” as I go through my own. I believe through my experiences I can help others maneuver through life and all that it gives us. I define clarity as that “Ah-ha!” moment when things in life become clear and we find peace in our hearts. It is the moment when we learn to accept that life is imperfect and we have no control. The moment when we realize that time is our greatest commodity and that it should be spent reliving those times and redoing those things that make us the happiest.
My journey began 32 years ago when I was born into a turbulent marriage. My father was your stereotypical macho male. Tall, handsome, well off and invincible. Rules did not apply to him in his mind. He did as he pleased without consideration or concern for his wife or children. He was the “provider” and with that believed he had full control over his wife. He was a functioning alcoholic that played with drugs. His rampages were directed at my very “green” homemaker mother who became pregnant with my oldest sister at age 18. Coming from a religious, sheltered and controlled home, she was drawn to a man that was the opposite of what she knew and understood. He was the older “cool” guy and she was the younger beautiful innocent girl. Pregnant at 18, she instantaneously became dependent on my father. Pregnant again at age 20, she only put herself into an even more complicated situation that would be difficult to get out of. She stayed home, he worked, partied, cheated and came home only to physically and mentally abuse her. He beat her enough to send her to the hospital once and even make her lose their third child another time. I was born into this turmoil when my mother was 24. The youngest of three living children, I was luckily safe guarded from most of the chaos. I am sure there are suppressed memories, but unfortunately not all have been safely locked away in my mind. I remember many fights and instances that one, especially a child should never have to experience. This is my beginning…I hope that my additional stories will help you sorting through your own experiences.
Please read on.